Grass is Greener Syndrome: Symptoms and Treatment

Grass is Greener Syndrome: Symptoms and Treatment

If you always think there is something better that you are missing, you are suffering from grass is greener syndrome. This syndrome hits most people in their 20s.

However, now social media has further increased its rate. Read on to know the symptoms of GIGS (grass is greener syndrome) to see if you are also a victim of this syndrome.

Moreover, different tricks to treat this condition are also given.

Let us start!

What is the Grass is a Greener Syndrome?

It is a situation in which you always feel contentless in life, and you are always wishing for something better. It is a serious psychological issue that can badly affect your daily life.

Almost every age can suffer from this syndrome; however, its signs are most commonly observed in people in their 20s.

When you are a victim of this syndrome, you always think, “if only,”  you could change something in yourself, your partner, or things around you.

The person wants to protect himself from pain at any cost and needs pleasures. However, many problems arise when this human tendency is not harnessed properly.

Many relationships look externally healthy; however, both or maybe one partner can be a symptom of GIGS. 

Signs of Grass is Greener Syndrome

Following are a few symptoms of GIGS that can help you recognize if you are suffering from it or not. Moreover, you can guess if any person in your surroundings suffers from this syndrome.

  1. Excessive Comparison

You always look at the things of others and crave things that you do not have. Similarly, always compare your things with others and think you do not own good quality things and need to upgrade them.

With time situation gets so adverse that you start comparing your partner with your ex or your friend’s boyfriend. As a result, you become toxic to your partner, and often it results in break up

Not only partners, but you also compare other family members, and this unhealthy comparison leads to stress in your life.

  1. Running Away From Things

Can you stay in a job, relationship, and place for a long time, or do you face problems? If you change your job a partner after few days for a better place and with a better person.

The underlying reason behind this attitude can be grass is greener syndrome. You feel suffocated by the attention and love your partner and your job demands from you.

It is 100% confirm that you are a victim of GIGS if you think you can only live happy by finding a better place and you do not bother to find the solution to problems you are facing with your existing partner and job. You need to be conscious of this and get treatment as soon as possible.

  1. Always Complaining

This is the most fundamental sign of the GIGS, and if you have this habit, do not waste a second and go for therapy and get rid of it, as it will destroy most of the states of happiness in your life.

As you never feel satisfied, thus your complaints increase day by day. I know it is impossible for a relationship without complaints, but you should avoid complaining by blaming each other.

Constructive criticism always advises and informs, and it is never the name of being harsh on your partner. Couples who have healthy relationships solve the issue by talking to each other about their needs of one.

Buddha once said that

 “The way to happiness is quite simple: the secret is to learn to want what you have and not want what you don’t have.”

Do you think that there are many difficulties in your life and you are always complaining about them? Do you always think your friends and fellows are not good with you?

You suffer from grass is a green syndrome, and you need therapy.

  1. Acting Impulsively

You lose your ability to think rationally when suffering from grass is greener syndrome. You do not think even before taking any action and do not care what the outcome of your action will be.

The biggest con of this act is you hurt people around you unconsciously, and they all start living away from you. Worst of all, you often choose the wrong people and prioritize them on people who are good for you and love you.

Wrong choices further make you sad, and GIGS’ roots become deeper.

  1. Fear of Commitment

Fear is one of the biggest components of the GIGS and can be of anything. For example, you are afraid of being trapped in a commitment.

Similarly, you may also fear that you will lose individuality; you will be a bore and oppressed. You love and stay with a person for some time, but now is the time to take the relationship to the next level.

You are afraid of being trapped with one person forever, and you think now you cannot make new friends. This means you cannot stay long with some time and start looking for something better.

It shows you are affected by GIGS that are not allowing you to see the reality, and you are ready to leave anything by believing the fantasy that there is some better and more loving waiting for you.

Keep in mind that the feat of commitment is not caused by one psychological problem. Instead, many mental issues make a person start thinking like that. 

However, the following are the most common reasons for this fear

Attachment issues

According to the psychological theory of attachment, we need to have proper “attachment” as an infant or young child to evolve into an adult who can feel safe and happy in a relationship.

It is believed that one adult with a child must stay with him from childhood until he is young. So he can trust someone and feel secure with that person. 

However, most caretakers and parents have made mistakes and were emotionally and mentally unsound. This is why most people now do not believe in love and affection.

They have a fear of attachment as it hurts a lot when our most beloved person leaves us. Resultantly they fear being in a relationship

Other Psychological Issues

Many other psychological issues cause fear of commitment. Some of these are low self-esteem and negative core belief. 

You think that you are not capable of success and cannot achieve anything; thus, you start going away from all opportunities that can help you become successful and polish your skills.

You may think, ‘I am not worthy of love,’ or you say, ‘love is dangerous’ both these fears will affect your love life badly, and you may end up being single for your whole life.

Young Adults and Fear of Commitment

Quarter-life crisis and grass are greener syndromes that go hand in hand, and most of us face them in our college life. Most people in their 20s look at life critically and think they should be in a better place to improve their future.

Most adults do not want to be adults and thus fail to face reality. Moreover, fear of commitment hits most people when thinking about engagement or marriage. 

As most of the girls think, ‘what if he is not the one who is made for me’ or ‘what if I find someone better than it.’ These are the symptoms of grass being greener, and you cannot be in a healthy relationship without treating the syndrome first.

  1. Fantasizing a Lot

You are always thinking about something you do not own at that moment, but you think the current happy moment of your life is not destroyed by fantasizing.

It does not matter whether you are going to sleep, walking, or running. You are thinking about a perfect partner, a new car, a mobile, and a luxury life.

Your head is always in the clouds, and you lose the ability to face reality. Your fantasize destroy the current moment, and when things do not happen the way you think about them, you will leave it at once; however, you have dreamed of it for months.

Ultimately you become stressed and fantasize about something better again in your mind, and this cycle goes on. In the end, you get nothing.

  1. Lack of Gratitude

You are not satisfied with anything in your life; thus, you do think their nothing gratitude worthy in your life. Do you focus on the things you do not have, and you have never cherished all the things and joys you have?

As a popular gospel hymn says, “count your blessings; name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done!”

You have become blind by the syndrome, never thanked God and showed gratitude for the blessing; you need to think about it.

Your obsessions over getting something better will never end your craving. Even if you have control of the whole earth planet, you will start controlling space.

In short, these wishes will never stop, and you will always remain unsatisfied with your life.

  1. Preoccupied with the Future

You do not live in the moment; the biggest sign of the grass is greener syndrome as you are not happy with anything in your life and continuously think about things that can be better in the future. 

It would help if you had goals and plans for your future as they have our hope and motivation for work but make sure you are obsessing over the future. The future is not in our control.

Once you try your best to achieve a thing and circumstances are not in your favor, do not be sad and let your mental health upset at any cost. Instead, learn to be happy with what you have achieved.

You sometimes do not consider your actual needs when just thinking about your future. This thing is only dangerous for your health but also has a very bad effect on your relationships.

Past is gone, and the future is not in your control, so why worry about something that is not in your possession. You can control your present so think about it and try your best to make it the best.

  1. You Have Perfectionist Tendencies

You are always hard on yourself, and deep in your heart, you know you have tried your best. Similarly, you are never happy with your spouse’s efforts and always complain about him.

You have set unrealistic goals and are measuring your life with your spouse to achieve those goals and standards. Everything is only black or white in your life.

There is no grey area and space for compromise in your life. You will start judging your spouse and think he does not loves you enough. 

Then you are suffering from grass is greener syndrome. Such perfectionist tendencies have made it impossible to please you.

You will always find fault in all good things and end up hurting yourself. The situation will worsen with time if not controlled at the start, as stress can lead to serious mental diseases. 

Types of perfectionist

To understand perfectionism in terms of GIGS thoroughly, you must look at the types of perfectionists. 

Positive perfectionist

First of all, there is a positive perfectionist, also known as a normal perfectionist. They are high achievers, and they do not take it negatively. 

As they celebrate when they get something but in case of failure, people never blame themselves or their surroundings; instead, they try better for next time.

Negative perfectionist

These are also neurotic perfectionists; they always have self-defeating thoughts and think the world has let them down. Moreover, such people have low moods and poor self-esteem.

Even if they achieve something, they do not feel happy and do not enjoy their success even for a while; instead, they immediately start looking for something better.

It is very difficult to remove these thoughts from their life and train their minds to think like positive and normal people. 

How to Treat Grass as a Greener Syndrome?

Following are the best ways and tricks to treat the grass as a greener syndrome and help yourself live a happy life if you are its victim and cannot think of a life without comparisons.

  1. Find out where you Learned about the Habit of Attention

Once, go back to childhood and think about why you had grass is greener syndrome. The possible reasons can be as follows: your parent was suffering from GIGS, you grew up in poverty, and there is a core belief that it is never enough.

You may have faced childhood trauma or neglect from your parents. You may try to impress other people and your parents. You are just looking outwards to avoid the pain that is inward.

Similarly, it can be any other reason. Once you sort the sense, start working on it.

  1. Learn Balanced Thinking

A person suffering from GIGS has cognitive thoughts that are biased and are not reality-based. Such thoughts lead you towards negative thinking and actions.

Take cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and try to change these negative thoughts into positive ones. Slowly you will learn balanced thinking. 

  1. Show Gratitude

Take a notepad and write all things you have. Now highlight those things which have much importance and positive impact on you.

This will produce a sense of gratitude in you, and slowly stop complaining about things and will not worry about things you do not have.

It is not bad to wish for things but just obsessing over getting new things is bad, and this habit will destroy your life, and there will be no concept of happiness in your life.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Green grass victims are always thinking about the future; if you want to eliminate it, practice mindfulness.

Learn to live in the present moment and try to make it good as soon as possible. Meanwhile, have an optimistic approach for the future but do not be indulged in it for 24 hours. You will see an exact minimization in stress and anxiety. 

  1. Find Barter Point

When you go for training, first of all, the coach will as you what to do you want first and which thing you will leave as you have to pay the price of everything. 

What do you have to give up if you think your life will be the best if you buy a spot car? Can you buy a car by doing nothing and spending nights in the bar drinking and dancing

You need to do something to get a car; if you are doing anything, the grass is greener syndrome.

  1. Taste Test

Stop being sad immediately after you get the taste of something you have wanted for a long time, as it is a reality check. 

If you think your life would have been better if you were skinny, start living with thin people for a few days. Now asses was it just a dream, or do you think you will be better in real terms if you are that skinny.

  1. Face your Insecurities

If you are insecure about your physical appearance or have any other insecurities talk to your partner. It is the only solution to insecurities. 

Soon you will realize that grass is green syndrome will not do good anything to you, and you will start learning beyond it with mindfulness.

  1. Talk it out

Your friends may have heard your hundred times that life is not good at all if their advice has not worked for you. Make the appointment with a certified coach and speak your heart with him.

The coach will do your brainwashing and help you start a life with a better approach; with time, you will start thinking positively. 

FAQs

What are the stages of grass is a greener syndrome?

There are the following stages of GIGS 

  1. Conviction: you think you can have better things and people in your life than you have, and you should leave these people and things.
  2. Exploration: you start looking for better things and people and enjoy the journey and emotional excitement while finding new things and meeting new people.
  3. Reality: once they have achieved a milestone, they start looking for others. Their newly found joys fade, and soon, they become insecure as they do not stop dreaming about better things.
  4. Regret: once they realize GIGS, they have lost many things, and there is nothing left behind, regret and moaning.

How long does grass is greener syndrome last?

There is no specific time for grass is greener syndrome. Some people overcome it within a week; however, some lose their whole life in 4 stages of this syndrome.

Do exes come back after the grass is greener syndrome has gone away?

Some people are lucky that their exes understand their situation and try their best to remove their insecurities in a relationship.

However, their relationship does not work, but they accept their ex once he has GIGS treated.

To Sum up

In a nutshell, the grass is a greener syndrome that drains all happiness from a person’s life. It makes you feel insecure and dissatisfied with your life, and you never find anything good in your life.

Moreover, you live in the future and always fantasize about it, which removes the ability to deal with reality. You compare everything with others and never give value to your things and relations.

Slowly you become depressed, and people around you start moving from you. If you have all these symptoms, you are suffering from GIGS and need to create its treatment.

Assess the reason for such behavior, show gratitude, talk about insecurities, and get an appointment from a coach. Soon you will start thinking better.

Thank you for your visit! 

References

https://psychcentral.com/blog/relationships-balance/2013/03/16/the-grass-is-greener-syndrome#1
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/9-signs-of-grass-is-greener-syndrome/

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