20 Signs Your Ex Is Miserable Without You

Signs Your Ex Is Miserable Without You

Sometimes it is difficult to stop thinking about how your ex is living their life. You might want to know who they are dating or their current situation, probably to justify your reasons for the breakup.  You might have been paying attention to your ex life from a distance to get signs that your ex is miserable.

You have likely spent unlimited days and evenings following your ex’s Facebook, Instagram, and other social media accounts to find news about their life and possible signs that show that he/she is miserable.

Suddenly, you discover that your ex hasn’t been in a rebound relationship after many months of breakup. So you think it’s because they regret losing you and you are contemplating giving him a second chance. It’s your choice whether you want to get your ex back and give him a second chance.

However, do ensure that he missed you after the break-up before doing that. Analyse why you broke up initially. Possibly, you broke up because your serious relationship turned into a long-distance one after he moved to another city. We all know that long-distance relationships are not easy to manage, and that is why a lot of people break up.  Therefore, make sure to consider his current situation.

Why You Attract What You Think

You should stop looking for signs that your ex is miserable without you if he has started a new relationship or given a clear indication that he’s never coming back. If you continue looking for answers, in the end, you will find something that ends up hurting you.

Continue reading to uncover the top signs that your ex is miserable.

1. Your ex is miserable if he or she shows off a new relationship.

One of the most visible signs your ex is miserable is when they flaunt their new relationship. They still feel inadequate after the breakup and will show off their new relationship to make you feel bad. We all know that an unconcerned individual would do his thing and enjoy his romantic relationship in peace. Your ex doesn’t need to flaunt his/her new relationship if he/she feels vengeful and genuinely didn’t care about your approval.

Your ex wants you to feel inadequate by exaggerating the level of happiness in their new relationship. He/she wants to hear that you are hurt and that you still care about him/her.


2. Your ex is obsessed with dating after the breakup.

If your ex is miserable after the breakup, there is a high possibility that your ex will become obsessed with his/her dating life. You will know your ex is miserable if they start to move from one dating app to another, seeking new partners. Sometimes he/she may begin to post sad relationship quotes on social media platforms. The truth is that he/she is trying to find a substitute for your relationship with him/her, but it’s challenging to find someone like you. If this is the case, you are more than just an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to him.


3. Your ex will be miserable if he starts to do drugs.

Many people find it hard to overcome breakups, and they might resort to drugs to forget their sorrow. One of the visible signs that your ex is miserable is when he/she talks hard because he/she regrets losing you. Sometimes, such people might turn to alcohol as a solution. So, if your ex wasn’t a drug addict when he/she was in a serious relationship with you but has begun to be one now, that’s an apparent sign that your ex is miserable after breaking up with you. Particularly if he/she starts using drugs after you break up. He is trying to forget about it and pretend that everything is still good.


4. Your ex talks badly about you to friends.

Is your ex talking bad about you? That could be a sign your ex is miserable and still have feelings for you. Your ex might be talking wrong about you to his/her best friends, on social media, and to your mutual friends because they are pained. Sometimes, it doesn’t mean that he/she wants you back, but it’s one of the signs your ex is miserable without you.

Read: Why Is The No Contact Rule So Effective

They cannot hold the pain when they remember the good times you had, so that might be their only way of pouring out the anger within. So, try as much as possible not to retaliate. Instead, smile to keep your head held high. All the things he/she says about you to friends, family, and on social media say more about him/her personality than you. After all, some people know the truth and wouldn’t judge you by what they hear.


5. He or she is envious of your success

A clear sign your ex is miserable is when he/she is jealous of your success. Your ex will bad-mouth your success when he/she is miserable. He/she tries to downplay your achievement amid their friends. Successful people don’t envy other people for their success, but your ex will do things such as competing against you because they regret losing you. Such people will celebrate your failure, and they aren’t always sincere with their praises. Your ex will also try as much as possible to much your passion and make you feel bad, but don’t let that get to you. This is an obvious sign your ex is miserable without you.


6. Your ex talks badly about your new relationship

People who don’t care about their ex usually avoid discussing them. One of the signs your ex is miserable is when he or she talks badly about your new relationship when conversing with your mutual friends. If friends tell you that your ex is talking down your new relationship, know that such an ex is unhappy with his/her life without you. He may have realized that the relationship with you was the best thing that ever happened to him, but he doesn’t want to admit it, so he tries to talk down your partner. Of course, he doesn’t know much about your new girlfriend or boyfriend’s personality, and that is why he will speak badly about them. Don’t let his talk get to you; he/she is just jealous and miserable.


7. Your ex is depressed

Depression is a dangerous state of mind that happens due to sadness, loss, and overthinking. Depression is one of the clearest indications that your ex is miserable after the breakup. If his/her social media is full of depressing songs and quotes, it is one of the signs your ex still cares. 

Your ex wouldn’t be depressed if he didn’t care about you in the first place. So, you can give him/her a chance if you want him back in your life.


8. Your ex pretends to be very happy

A lot of people don’t want to feel like losers after a breakup, so they try to hide the signs of their unhappiness. Your ex doesn’t want you to know how miserable he/she is after the breakup. So such a person will pretend to be happy, but you know them very well by now and will detect that happiness is fake. Most people would not admit their mistake, and they will lose you forever and try to fake happiness ever after. Your ex might do that because he/she doesn’t want to accept their fault and flaws. However, their presence can’t last forever, so his/her happy mask is going to fall off sooner than.


9. Your ex is miserable if always get into conflict with others

One of the indications your ex is miserable is when he picks unnecessary fights with others. His ego has been broken, and he feels fighting is the only way to feel like a man. He started to get involved in such drama since you two broke up and established the no contact rule. Perhaps he even isn’t on good terms with his best friend anymore because they told him the truth. The thing is, he is angry, and if he apologizes the next day, he will still get into conflict again. He needs someone to love him because the void you let hasn’t been filled.


10. Your ex is miserable if he or she changes significantly.

The state of mind of an individual can affect or determine body weight. Your ex may be miserable if his or her body weight changes significantly after the breakup. It doesn’t matter whether they gain or lose weight; the change is noticeable. People tend to eat more or less than they used to when they are stressed or miserable. Some people might stop their daily exercises, while others may start exercises because of the depression they’re going through. These eating and exercise disorders are signs your ex still cares about you and can’t live like he used to. He/she is miserable and doesn’t know what to do about it.


11. He or she calls you when drunk

People remember loved ones when they are drunk. Your ex might remember the good times both of you had together and may decide to call your line when drunk to express his feelings. Your ex will text or call you to show how he wants you back in his life. All those misspelled text messages are just indications your ex still cares and is desperate to get you back. However, avoid texting when he’s drunk even if you want him back. Wait for the time when he or she sobers up to talk about all the things they said when drunk, as he or she might not be so ready to repeat them when he’s sober. So, calling you when drunk is one of the obvious signs your ex is miserable without you.


12. Your ex doesn’t have ambitions or goals anymore

One of the visible signs your ex is miserable is if he suddenly doesn’t have goals or ambition after the breakup. This can happen if he/she had planned their life around you, so he/she may feel useless if you’re no more a part of their life.  Your ex can’t get himself together after the breakup. People without goals and ambitions exist at the moment without a long-term purpose, and for him, it is because he doesn’t see the point of it all. He had pictured a future with you in it, and he doesn’t see a future anymore now that you’re gone.


13. He doesn’t leave the house: signs your ex is miserable

Your ex could be miserable if he changes suddenly and stops going out of the home. Although some people prefer to stay indoors and enjoy their own company, you will know when dating them. However, if your ex doesn’t possess such trait but change after the breakup, that’s a clear sign that your ex is miserable. He doesn’t have the urge to leave the house, and it’s making him afraid to be outside. Your ex needs some time to grieve alone, but after a while, he will get himself together. Therefore, if you want him back, use this time while he is miserable and wants you back.


14. Your ex is miserable if he brags about his new relationship

A lot of people are miserable after breakups but pretend to be cool even when there are not. Your ex might resort to bragging about his/her new relationship just to pretend to be over you. He might start posting happy pictures with his new partner on social media and might tag you sometimes.  However, that doesn’t mean him/her his happy with their new relationship. They might be doing it to make you feel bad. Don’t give him the pleasure of acting insecure because that will provide him with the validation he requires. The fact is, your ex is miserable without you and wants to get a reaction from you.


15. Your ex asks around about you: signs your ex is miserable

Your ex may start asking around about you if he/she feels miserable and wants to get back with you. Such people will stalk your social media profiles, but that won’t be enough for them. He/she will keep close contact with your friends because they want to find out what’s going on in your life, but most importantly, he/she want to find out what’s going on with your love life. He/she wants to know whether you have found a new partner or if there is still hope for the relationship to work again.


16. Your ex is miserable if he or she hasn’t returned your things.

Your ex may be holding on to some of your possessions because he/she wants you back in their life. Such property reminds them about you, and they want you to come around again. People who want to forget about their ex will return their properties immediately because they don’t want to have any reminders of the ex in their house.  But, your ex doesn’t want it to be over if he/she doesn’t give you your stuff back. He/she is still attached to you, and it hurts him/her to part with things in their house. The idea is that he/she believes you will come back, and that is why they don’t want to return your stuff.


17. Your ex is taking responsibility and apologized to you

One of the signs your ex is miserable is if he takes responsibility for the breakup and apologizes to you even when he/she isn’t wrong. That’s an indication that they want you in their life irrespective of what has transpired in the past. This is a visible sign that he wants to get back together because he is miserable without you in his life. Don’t be shocked if he starts promising you that he will never make such mistakes again. Hence, this is your chance if you want your ex to come back to you. He wants you back, so it’s up to you to give it another chance.


18. Your ex is miserable if he/she answers your calls right away

A lot of people don’t pick calls immediately when they don’t like the caller. If your ex answers your call almost immediately, that is a sign he/she is miserable without you and has been expecting your call.

It appears like he is waiting by the phone for your call, and it seems that way because he is waiting by the phone. He/she has been hoping that you would call and doesn’t want to wait another second. Both of you have a lot to talk about, and one of those things could be that he/she wants you back in his/her life because he/she is miserable now that you are out of it.

19. Your ex treats you well: signs your ex is miserable

You should know that your ex wants to come back if he/she continually treats you well. He/she tries his/her best to make you feel special even after you broke up. It appears like you didn’t have much reason to break up with him/her, but now you do have a reason to take him back. Probably the problem of your relationship was lack of attention, and he is trying to make up for that. He/she is showing you that he can be better because he/she seriously wants you back. That’s one of the signs your ex is miserable. 


20. Your ex is miserable if he or she has stayed the same

A lot of people change after breakups because they want to erase the past and everything that reminds them of their ex. But, your ex might not want to change anything if he/she wants things to stay the same as they were. Your ex wants both of you together again because he/she is miserable now that you have broken up. The reason why he/she hasn’t made any significant changes is that he/she doesn’t want to create that new changed life without you. Perhaps you should give him a chance. But the decision is up to you.


21. The relationship ended on good terms: signs your ex is miserable

Your ex might be miserable if both of you broke up in proper condition. He might be wondering why you decided to leave him even though both of you are enjoying the relationship. However, both of you can still be together again since the breakup didn’t involve mind games and hatred. Nothing is so broken that it can’t be fixed. It’s only a matter of time before you get back together. 


22. Your ex is miserable if he is dating your polar opposite

One of the signs our ex is miserable is when he decides to date someone who is your polar opposite. He/she might be dating such a person because they want to forget about you. Your ex is genuinely in love with you and might want to replace you with someone different. It’s his/her way of trying to forget all about you. Yet, it will only work temporarily; he/she is forcing himself/herself to be with someone else when he/she wants to be with you. That can’t last forever, and he will realize it any time now. Therefore it’s your turn to take him back or let him find other ways to forget about you.


23. If your ex is still single: signs your ex is miserable

If your ex is single after a long time, it is one of the signs your ex is miserable and wants you back. Your ex hasn’t started dating anyone yet, but he/she is too depressed to meet new people. Your ex hopes that you will take him/her back and he/she doesn’t want to be with anyone else. Therefore, if you are looking for ways to get your ex back, he/she might be doing the same thing as we speak.


24. Your ex makes excuses to see you

One of the visible signs that your ex is miserable without you is, if he still enjoys your company and always tries to be around you. He or she tries as much as possible to attend all events and gathering you’re present. When someone is so desperate to see you, they will come up with all sorts of excuses, and they also won’t hesitate to stalk you a little if needed. He might come up with all kinds of things he allegedly needs from you. So if you notice your ex doing this, you can be sure that he wants to get back together. Now it’s up to you whether you will take him back or not.




Signs Your Ex is Unhappy in a New Relationship

So, you once had a hot romance with this person, things went wrong and now he’s your ex. It can be really hard to get over the separation and heartbreak, especially when it looks like your ex has moved on so quickly.

But does moving on really happen that easily? It could just be a rebound. What if your ex is unhappy in the new relationship? Are there ways to know? Of course, there are ways to know, and we will look at a few of the sure signs that your ex is not far from miserable in his or her new relationship. No matter the grounds on which you guys broke, you would still feel the pain if it looks like he moved on happily while you’re still crying over the love you shared. 

If your ex is exhibiting the signs below, then he is unhappy in his new relationship and is still there for unhealthy reasons. It could also mean he misses you and is trying to cope with the rebound lover. Either way, it should give you a lot of satisfaction to know what it means for your ex to exhibit the signs listed below, especially if you want him back in your life. Chances of getting back together are higher if he hasn’t happily moved on with someone else.


He always talks badly about you

No matter the grounds on which you broke up, your ex should never speak badly about you to anyone. The pain of a breakup is already too much to deal with, but what if you find yourself in a situation where your ex speaks badly about you to people?

First of all, keep calm and Don’t allow it to make you sad. You may think it’s your image he is spoiling, but it reflects badly on his person even more. Also, don’t quickly read it to mean he is happy to be away from you. It could mean he is not happy in his new relationship.

If he is so happy in his new relationship, why does he have the time to talk badly about you to his friends? What could he possibly gain from making people see you in a bad light? The answers lie in the fact that his words are reflecting how he feels inside. Making you look bad is the only way he can cope with the emptiness he feels within himself. So you can even laugh about it, this will make him feel ashamed of what he is doing.

If his words are beginning to affect your self-esteem, you could block him on all social media platforms. This will stop you from seeing whatever he says about you, so it won’t affect you. Don’t worry about what his audience thinks, if your mutual friends know the truth about your relationship with your ex, they won’t believe whatever he says. But be careful, if he is becoming abusive and spreading rumors that could be harmful to your life and career, you have every right to take it up legally and make him stop. His unhappiness in his new relationship should not affect your future goals.


He is constantly picking fights

Most people that get into fights on purpose, do it because they feel empty inside and need to show an outburst to massage their weak ego. Whether your ex is naturally violent or not, a mixture of sadness and a wounded ego would easily drive him into picking fights every now and then. 

If the breakup was really bad for your ex, the new relationship is not really helping him get back on his feet and he is unhappy about that, so the lack of fulfillment would drive him into getting violent on a regular basis. If you hear or see your ex picking fights in school, at work, in bars, or anywhere at all, he is really miserable and you should not allow his next romantic social media post with his new girlfriend to deceive you. It’s a sign that your ex is unhappy in the new relationship.


He is always bragging about his new relationship

Come to think of it, if he is truly happy in the new relationship, why go out of his way to constantly brag and rub it on your face that he is happy? It’s all fake. Your ex is just trying to trick you into thinking he is over you, but he is not.

So, if he keeps posting pictures and videos of him and his new lover having a good time, it doesn’t necessarily mean he is not thinking about you. 

The fastest way to be sure he is bragging about his new relationship just to pretend he is happy is if he keeps saying it to you so you would approve of his happiness. If you are just an ex to him, why would he want your opinion to matter about his new love?

If you really want to make him expose his unhappiness, you could refuse to make comments on his love life no matter how much he talks about it. If you find yourself in a position where you must say something, let it be brief and unflattering. You don’t have to be disrespectful, but if you show zero importance to his constant bragging, he will feel bad and eventually say something that will expose his unhappiness in the new relationship.


They are rushing things

If you and your ex dated for years, you will remember how things took a gradual pace. From monthly or weekly dates to spending more indoor time together, to spending the weekend together, etc. Things are usually in that format, love grows as the two people involved get closer and feel more comfortable sharing the inner parts of themselves. But if your ex seems to be skipping the process and going too fast with his new lover, it’s a sign he is unhappy in the relationship.

Say you broke up a month ago, and your ex is already planning to move in with his new lover when it took your years to get to that level, then he misses you and wants to just continue the new relationship from where he left things with you. For him, it’s a coping mechanism. Most people who rebound this way don’t go about bragging about their happiness, they are more focused on creating the same relationship they had in the new one. Think of it as your ex continuing the relationship he had with you, right where you left it off, but with another person. 

Underneath all the glow you might be seeing, he is unhappy and still wishes he had you, that’s why he is busy living a lie, and it’s so sad.

If in doubt, notice how he takes his new love to your favorite spots. You might run into them, and if you do, don’t create a scene, just act normal and happy, and remember you’re not the only one going through the pains of the breakup, he is going through it as well, and recreating you in another person, is his own way of trying to deal with the pain.

With this knowledge, seeing your ex with someone he seems to be growing so fast with should no longer bring you pain, it should make you happy, because he is not over you and that new fast-paced relationship is surely headed for the rocks.


He says bad things about your new relationship

We have focused on cases where your ex is the only one who got a new lover after the breakup. Now, let’s look at the sure sign your ex is not happy in his new relationship when you have also moved on with someone new.

For most people, it is common for their ex-boyfriend to dislike their new boyfriend. But since you’re both in seemingly happy new relationships, it should not be an issue for your ex. If it is a big issue for him, it means his new relationship is not interesting enough for him to take his mind off your business. If he seems to hate your new boyfriend more than he loves his new relationship, it’s a strong sign to show that he is really missing you.

If you’re honest with yourself, you’re probably a little jealous of your ex’s new girl, especially when you remember the good sides of your ex that he is giving to his new girlfriend. It’s absolutely normal unless you were in an abusive relationship. 

The good thing is that you have found someone who also makes you happy, so you won’t be able to pay attention to your ex and whatever he has going on with his new partner. It should end at that insignificant jealous feeling, nothing more. But for your ex who is unhappy in his new relationship, it won’t end with normal jealousy.

No matter how good your new man looks, your bitter ex would badmouth his appearance and even make jokes about it. He will speak poorly of his financial status and job. All this is aimed at making you feel you made a wrong choice over him, but it’s more about him feeling lost without you. After saying those horrible things, he would go and cry himself to sleep when no one is watching. So don’t feel bad, just focus on your happiness and tell your new boyfriend to ignore it as well.


He sends you drunk texts

Usually, people resort to hitting the bottle when they feel sad and have nothing to do about the pain. They feel drinking themselves to stupor will take the pain away temporarily, but for some reason, anyone who uses this method after a breakup and a quick new relationship is giving away cheap signs that they are unhappy in that new relationship.

If your ex was happy at all, he would not soak himself in alcohol every night, he would be in the arms of the beautiful woman he keeps posting on Instagram and WhatsApp. If he even goes as far as calling you or texting you in that drunken state, especially at late hours of the night, he is miserable without you and could only reach out to you in such a state where he would blame alcohol if you ever call him out on it.

Most times, when your ex reaches out to you in a drunken state, they say words that really have no meaning. But if your ex calls and starts saying how much he misses you and how he still loves you. You should know he indeed is having a hard time in his life. You may feel sorry for him at the time, but in a few hours or days you will see him with a new woman, which would totally confuse you about his state, but the truth is he is miserable, and that doesn’t mean you should do anything about it. 

If you don’t want him back, you can stop picking his calls at odd hours so he doesn’t get a chance to emotionally blackmail you into taking him back. But if you are still in love with your ex and want him back, then this should give you hope that his new girlfriend will not be much of an issue if you decide to get back with him.

If you see all these signs in your ex’s behavior after a breakup, he is still very much into you despite dating someone else. But everything depends on what you want and need in your life. Even if you’re still in love with your ex, you may want to think carefully before jumping on the chance of getting him back into your life.

If you are the one who cut the ties with him, his fake happiness and emotional trauma could make you feel sorry for him. But stay strong in your decision to be away from him if your reason for the breakup is good for your mental health and safety.

Do you agree with the signs your ex is miserable? Do you have a contrary opinion? Kindly drop your idea in the comment section below.

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